Feb 25 - A Stranded Single Woman
Home, sweet, home. I just returned home after meeting with a client in Philadelphia. I drove my car half-way and parked it in a garage and took the train the rest of the way. The meeting ended late and by the time I returned to the garage is was 11:50 PM. I walk to my car only to discover that I didn't have my keys. I must have lost them sometime during the evening. I'm a 40-minute drive from my house (where there is a spare). But what do you do when you don't have your keys? Calling a locksmith doesn't help because even if he could get me inside, I didn't have keys to drive it.
It was that moment I realized that I really need to make some New Jersey friends. I've been living here for almost 2 years. I have a few friends, but not ones I can call at midnight to drive 40 miles to pick me up. Of course my mind went to my husband or lack thereof. How comforting it would have been to call him. Well, I am grateful that the area of the garage was safe. There were police officers, construction workers and garage attendants all around (none of whom could help). But thank God safety wasn't an issue. But it does feel lousy to be stranded with no one to call. Maybe in 45 weeks that will change.
Oh, and since I am typing this, I obviously made it home. I realized that my purse had a hole in the lining, which after 25 minutes, I discovered had swallowed my keys. I've never been so grateful to know my belongings are coming apart! Now looking back, I'm curious to know what someone should do if they were in my situation. Have any of you been stranded in that way? Let me know. I think I'll call an expert and get his advice, and then we'll all know how to handle ourselves next time.
8 comments
As far as having a husband to call in emergency….it may have ended up in a fight if you dragged him out of bed then told him you found your keys while he was driving to rescue you….
There have been many times in my life where the lack of good friends…someone to call…just made a bad situation worse. I realized that I have a VERY hard time asking people for help….or thinking that they would want to help me. I also realize that I have a hard time getting close to people….trusting them…so the idea that you would live someplace for two years and not feel connected to anyone is easy to understand.
One thing I would say about the husband search….is that you are more likely to find the one you want if you feel like your social/relational world is already somewhat fulfilling. Nothing feels like true love of course. But a BIG part of why I jumped into a bad marriage a few years ago was just because I was so lonely. And I really wasn’t that interested in investing/committing to other types of relationships….friendships.
The other thing I think we do wrong as a society is spend our single/social time just having fun….which is ultimately unfulfilling. So maybe finding some “meaningful” thing that does require a little self sacrifice….going beyond our emotional comfort zone….would take a bit of the “empty” away. But I have to say…I’m impressed with your ALL OUT assault on the problem. I think one of the biggest things I have learned through all of my failed attempts is that it is more about “being the right person…than finding the right person.” It is hard to wake up to the reality that I’ve been my own worst enemy when it comes to relationships. Well….I’m sure that was unexpected coming from me…I guess it was triggered by the question about whether anyone else had ever been stranded. I’ve felt stranded most of my life…..and for me….it became a way of life….a mindset that I just couldn’t shake.
What I do is wear a spare key around my neck (I have another spare at home). I know it seems extreme but I am a single woman who loses things and unless my head pops off, I won't lose my key. The last thing I want to do is drag someone out of bed in the middle of the night to help me. And yes, not having a man in your life makes you more resourceful and these little lessons reinforce that resourcefulness. It will come in handy since you won't be like some ditzy broad who is always losing keys and doesn't have a second thought about getting her man out of bed in the middle of the night when her keys are in her bag the whole time.
If you ever have that happen again remember this: Cops can help you get a dealer that is local to make a key for you. You must be able to prove who you are and that you own or at least are the renter of the car. To prove this is easy for the true owner. The license number or registration will be tracked to you and can be compared to your ID. A VIN number or the little tag (It looks like a dogtag.)they give you when you buy your car (which you need to keep with you but not on your key ring.)will help the dealer make the right key for you unless you have changed it. If you have had it changed you should have the tag from that key. I had this happen to me. ( I accidentally locked my pickup with the keys in it 12 miles out in the country.) I didn't want to break a widow or anything so I had a GM dealer make me a new key and deliver it to me in a farmer's field where we were hunting. (for a small fee, of course) Another benefit of using the cops to get it done is they can have someone meet you at home to help get into your house without you being suspected of trying to burglerize it in the middle of the night. Who knows one of the cops, the dealer rep., or the locksmith might be single and cute! You never know....
Yes I am a part of the single club not by choice sometimes and sometimes by choice. It funny your goals this year is 52 weeks to fine a man and mine is the opposite I commitment to 52 weeks without a man ( in a romantic relationship or sexually ) To spend this year to reach personal goals, impove myself and develop my relationship with God. To becoming the proverbs 31 10-31 woman. So if God's does bring a husband into my life then I will be the woman, wife, mother , lover , and friend that i should be. Good luck on you search and have fun.