Today is the last day of my cyber exchange. It’s been a very interesting experiment and tomorrow I’ll learn how fruitful it was. I haven’t logged onto any of my online dating accounts in a week, so it will be fun to see who my friends emailed, who responded back, and learn their taste in men for me.

Based upon their video, it doesn’t look like there was ongoing exchange with any one individual, so it’s got me a little nervous. But overall, it’s wonderful when your friends take time to walk in your shoes for a week. And I enjoyed being in theirs. It all helps to keep these 52 weeks fun and adventurous. But I do hope they found a date for me. Well watch the video below and see how our last day of the challenge went and stay tuned for the overall results tomorrow.

Finding love and then searching for a hotel. Well, it's not exactly how it sounds, but it is how Denise and I swapped our one-hours. I've really been getting into my assignments. I use the same determination that I muster for finding a husband. And I've been enjoying it more. I guess because my assignments are so finite. When you have to do things like plan vacations and price grocery items, producing results is much less precarious than deciding which guy to email, figuring out what to say, and hoping he will email you back. It's why I always liked math over english - emotions aren't a factor in the equation. Well, in this video, Denise sounds a little discouraged, but the week isn't over just yet. One more day to go. I can't wait to learn the cumulative results. So take a look at our videos below and tell me what you think!

Traci didn't hold back on her thoughts about online prospects and I saw Atlanta in a whole new light. Take a look.

On this second day of trading places with a wife and mom, Anissa and I discuss our experiences with pricing groceries and the value of a good profile.

Man verses homeschooling. This time it's not a reality show idea, it is how Denise and I spent our first day trading online places. How did we fare? Check out our updates!

One-hour every night I log on to 3 different dating websites and read and respond to emails. If no one has contacted me, then I search these sites and email those I find interesting. After weeks and weeks of doing this, yes, it’s gotten a little old. But I know, from years of experience, what’s in store (or I should say, not in store), if I don’t stay active online.

So to keep it interesting, and to give myself a little break, I traded online places with 3 of my girlfriends. This is the beginning of a week long assignment. Take a look at the video for the details, and stay tuned each day this week for the results.

No. It doesn’t exist. And it’s probably not even what you’re thinking. But it would be a fascinating experiment none-the-less. Heck, I might even consider being a contestant.

You take 5 women who are ready for marriage. You gather their family and friends who have 3 days to find them a suitable partner, with similar goals and values, out of a pool of men who also say they are ready for marriage.

For each woman, the family and friends select 3 guys. Each woman is given 30 minutes to spend with the 3 guys separately. Next, she must decide which man she will “make love” with.

Okay, before you send me the “she’s so nasty” emails. Here’s where the clarification comes. “Making Love” isn’t a show about having sex. It’s a show that asks the question - can falling in love can happen when two strangers agree to commit to each other? The commitments in the show aren’t for a lifetime. That’s a different reality show called “Arranged Marriage” and it’s not the failed “Married by America.” But the show does ask each couple to take vows. During a ceremony, the couples will exchange vows, which say they will commit to giving their heart, their mind and soul to each other for the next 10 weeks. They will work hard, giving their all to the relationship. Through good times (which the show will help offer) and bad times (challenges presented by the show to make the couple stronger), they vow to stay committed to see if they can really “make love” happen.

What makes this show different from many of the other dating shows is that the hope is that all the participants succeed. It’s not “Temptation Island” where they’ll be a temptress put in their paths. It’s not the “Bachelor” where there is 20 suitors being eliminated over the course of the series. It’s not even a competition between the 5 couples. For 95 percent of the show, it’s just these 10 people trying to make love.

It’s witnessing their relationship as it evolves. It’s perhaps watching love blossom, seeing love fade, and holding our breaths in hopes that love will blossom again. It’s watching them bicker. It’s seeing how they make up. It’s watching them hold it together for 10 weeks because they committed to doing so, even when they’re not sure if they can make it another day. These couples will face real life challenges to see how they handle stressful moments. They’ll also share in joyous, spectacular occasions. They will have access to marriage counseling, will be given time to spend with their families, and they’ll also have the company of the other couples. It’s giving couples who want to share their lives with someone the tools to make it. It also takes a look at the role that commitment plays in the relationship and the impact it has on chemistry.

All 5 couples will move into an apartment building. Each couple will have their own 2 bedroom apartment. The sleeping arrangements are left up to them. As in “Big Brother” there will be cameras in the home capturing their time together, but also allowing for much needed private time.

At the end of the 10 weeks, each participant must make a decision. One by one, we will witness the dramatic moment where couples come face to face and tell each other whether or not they want to commit to marriage or walk away.

The beauty is that there is no prize to win - no million dollar bonus. If you’re successful, you receive the reward of finding your life-long partner.

I’ve obviously been thinking a lot about this. I wonder if having so many choices in life makes it harder for us when we have to commit. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for opportunities and choices. I just wonder if it sometimes clouds my ability to see a future with one person.

So 10 weeks of commitment. What do you think… can “making love” happen?

Just when you think you’ve captured the elements of the perfect event, you realize you’ve been duped again. Here’s how my day went. Beautiful weather, the perfect condition to take a trip to a winery. It was a nice scenic 30 minute drive. I’m on my way to a fundraiser for an agriculture museum. In my mind, agriculture means lots of men; scientists, big farmers, equipment companies, corporate sponsors, etc. I arrive at the winery. It is quaint with rows and rows of vines with bursting grapes. I step in to make my grand entrance and I see nothing but balding heads – almost as many as the grapes on the vine. Now, I happen to think bald is sexy… but not so much when on the head of a 65 year-old (unless you’re Sean Connery).

There were about 150 people attending. It was close to an equal number of men and women. And, yes, 65 was the average age. It was also filled with a sea of white faces. No Asians, no Latino, no “others” and definitely no blacks. As a single 40-something, African American woman, I stood out. But being the optimist, I thought my him could possibly be somewhere in the midst.

I took a deep breath, searched the room for an empty seat and made myself comfortable. The people at my table were very nice, especially an older couple. The husband was a former board member. After finding out what I did for a living, there were several people he wanted me to meet and he proceeded to introduce me around the room (hopes of finding my husband at this point slowly faded). Another man at my table, who was in his 50s, seemed to be single. He wasn’t very attractive, but that didn’t bother me, until I discovered the “girl” next to him, who I thought was his daughter, was actually his girlfriend. I swear she didn’t even look old enough to drink the wine.

Finding him at this community event didn’t work out, but hope is still alive! Tell me about the activity or event where you found him?

Yes. I'm promoting the article about me in Essence Magazine. It's on stands now. So run out and buy a copy, unless you have no money. Then you can read it at your local newsstand or bookstore (but don't rip out the page because you may get arrested). Gabrelle Union is on the cover. But don't look for my smiling face on page 96. For some reason, they didn't use my photo. Huge disappointment. What if my future husband thumbs through and lands on page 96. He'll only find words and the back of some chick in a wedding dress. He'll think, "that woman is taken" and turn the page. No. Turn back! Don't leave me on page 96 all alone.

Yes. I was bummed that my photo wasn't there and surprised because they had 3 great shots to choose from. The photo shoot was fun and I liked the results (I so rarely like my photos). But I shouldn't complain (I do, anyway) because at least they ran the story. They even list an email for me "onhermind@essence.com." Although, I didn't know about this address and I don't know what they'll do with my emails. I mean, should my husband-to-be email me, they will forward it right? There won't be some intern stealing my man. Well, here's the photo I thought was going to run. And, if you have a second, send me an email to this mysterious address: onhermind@essence.com. We'll see if they forward it.

I’ve decided to amuse myself and come up with a list of fun things to do before I get married. If my 52 weeks journey is successful, this time next year I could be dragging around that ball and chain . So I better consciously enjoy the single life while I can. Why not make an official list.

I came up with the idea last weekend when I painted my bedroom (saying “I” really means I paid someone else to do it). I chose a really bold and bright aqua (it looks really cool. I promise). As I redecorate the entire room, I think about not having to consult with anyone about my choices. That can be liberating (but there are certainly times when I wish my actions mattered to someone else). Anyway, I was remembering a conversation that my then fiancé and I had. We decided that after we got married we were going to live at his place for a while before getting a new house. I told him that we were definitely going to have to redecorate his bedroom. We both compared and laughed at our different tastes in style, and we knew it would be an interesting challenge trying to come up with something we both agreed on. Well, now that I continue to be on my own, instead of feeling sad about decorating alone, I’ve decided to chalk it up as one fun thing to add to my Ball & Chain List.

Here are a few other things I’ve included and will pursue before the nuptials:
• Have a juicy first kiss
• Go on one of those over the top singles’ vacations
• Purchase a very expensive pair of shoes

I realize that married people can do anything they want, including take vacations and buy frivolous items, but surely there are things you miss about the single life. So married and singles, what should I add to the list? This isn’t a list of chores, just pleasures! Please, no lectures, just have fun with it. I can’t wait to see what you come up with.

I had a date last night and am ashamed to say that I was – wait for it – “pleasant”. I mean, who gets all excited about this person they dated who was totally “pleasant”? A guy would much rather insert any of the following words: she was totally; awesome, hot, freaky, amazing, or “the one”.

I’m usually pretty good on dates. Actually, I’m really good on dates. I try and make the guy feel real special. Even after the first 5 minutes when I know that I’m not into him, or I can tell he’s not into me, I still try and make it a fun night… not a pleasant date, but a fun one. If the guy is a total bore and goes on and on about his ex or his mother all the while he’s picking his nose, I still figure, this is the only night I’ll have to put up with this, so why not enjoy yourself.

Well, that wasn’t my attitude last night. This guy I met online asked me out several times. I didn’t feel anything for him. His profile and picture were normal, but there was no spark on my end. So each time he asked, I politely said, “no thanks.” The third time I guess I was feeling a bit like, I got nothing better to do Friday night so I might as well, cuz you never know. But sometimes you do know and you should go with your gut.

Anyway, we met for drinks, and within the first 5 minutes I knew it was going to be one of those dates where I had to do a lot of work. You know - the type where the guy doesn’t really keep the conversation going. You always have to start a new conversation or topic or otherwise you’d both be sitting there staring awkwardly at everything around you, but at each other. Well, I was having none of that last night. I had just spent 10 hours at work and I didn’t want to spend the next hour “working” during my date. I stubbornly resolved to do my part and that’s it. I was never rude, impatient or annoying. I was well-mannered, polite, and you know, pleasant.

The date ended 39 minutes, 12 seconds after it started. We pleasantly said our good nights. And I have the sneaking suspicion that I will never hear from him again. I don’t blame him. I also feel a little guilty. I mean would it have killed me to turn thing up a notch? Even if I had absolutely no desire to see him again, we would have both had smiled a little more, even laughed, playfully teased, shared interesting stories and ended the very short evening feeling good. If I had to do it over, my goal wouldn’t have been to get asked out on a 2nd date; instead it would have simply been to give it my best.

Here’s what I’m thinking (Uh-oh, honey! She’s thinking again)…, If by December 31st I want to find him, I need at least 3 months of dating him to know if he’s the one (I don’t need to marry him by this time, just feel like this is the guy). That means by this month, or next month at the latest, me and my him will have to go on our first date. Does that mean I should be more or less choosy about who I go out with over the next 8 weeks?

Church outing tied with community event in my poll for the top place to find a potential husband. I wonder if the high ranking is more wishful thinking than it being a real contender for finding “him.” Seriously ladies, be honest, how many of you found your husbands at a church outing? I tried to think about all of my married friends and how they met their husbands. Less than 10% met them at a church event. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy going to church, have been to countless church outings, even headed a singles ministry at my old church in Manhattan for a while. But unless churches get more on board with catering to singles, I’m no more likely to find him at church than a homeless man will get fed at Le Cirque. So for you 10%, congratulations, and for the remaining 90%, don’t be discouraged, God can deliver your “him” to your child’s school play, to the public library-- and thank you God for even using the internet!

Here are the results of my church outing challenge