I was re-reading yesterday's blog (because writing it wasn't painful enough). Anyway, I was thinking about the guys I've dated. I lost track a while ago, but there has been more than 30. If they were all bloggers, I shutter to think about the things they'd write about me.

How many guys left our date thinking it was—how did I describe it yesterday—awesome!? I can still see their smiles, see them saying goodbye, I can hear them telling me how much fun they had and then I would agree. It was too awkward not to. I can hear them asking me if I'd like to see them again. I always hated that moment because I knew I would lie. I didn't want to have to tell them to their face that, "no. I'd rather not see you again." So, yes, I would lie. I did feel some comfort that at least I went home and emailed them the truth. It was a coward's way out, but I justified that it was better than ignoring their phone calls and emails.

In case you haven't figured this out, I didn't do everything perfect over these last 52 weeks. I made some mistakes and didn't always follow the Golden Rule. I turned down guys that I probably should have given more of a chance and accepted dates from guys I should have declined. After a lousy day at work, it's amazing how many men got the "no thanks" email. After a lonely night, it's incredible how many men I responded to online. They say, timing is everything!

So here I am 30 dates later - a little wiser (hopefully), and more considerate. Still no "him" but trying to make the most of it all.