I went on a date several weeks ago. It was pretty awesome. I've had over 30 of them, and I rarely use that word to describe a date. He was sweet, funny and romantic. I remember thinking, I could fall in love with this guy. We talked about everything under the sun. Nothing too threatening for the first date, but he was so easy to talk to. After a long string of bad dates, I was hopeful again. Since we met at a restaurant, we said our goodbyes at my car. It was a Tuesday night and we talked about getting together again that weekend. I smiled all the way home and relived every moment we spent together.

When I got home, I didn't rush to the phone to call my girlfriends, nor did I post in on Facebook. I didn't want someone's insensitive comment to ruin the moment. Instead, I simply thanked God. I remember saying, I don?t know where this will lead, but I thank you for the time we had tonight. I was so grateful. My mind raced ahead to January 1st and how I'd be able to share with the world how God came through during the final month. Hallelujah! (yes, my imagination runs wild).

After some time in prayer, I sent my date a short, but sweet email thanking him for the evening and telling him I was looking forward to seeing him again. That morning I woke up with a smile on my face. Although work was anything but rosy, the memory of the date lingered. I knew he would call that night and I looked forward to the evening. But he didn?t call. I did that thing where I checked my phone to make sure it was working and it was. I reasoned that perhaps he had a busy day, but he would call the next day.

Well the next day came and went and I didn?t hear from him. Nor did I receive an email. Finally, after 5 days I called. I didn?t want to sound desperate, so I left a message and asked him the name of the car dealership he mentioned when we were together. There! That sounded like I wanted to talk, but didn?t sound desperate or hurt that I hadn?t heard from him. But I didn't receive a return phone call. Then I got worried and I thought perhaps he got into an accident on the way home from our date and is in a coma. But I saw that his online dating profile had been active within the last 24 hours, so he was not only alive but had time to look for love.

I can't imagine what happened. How could I have missed the signals? Obviously our date was not as significant for him as it was for me. After decades of putting myself out there, you'd think I'd be better prepared? that disappointment wouldn't penetrate this thick skin I've had to develop. It hurt my feelings and wounded my pride to the point where I didn't want to share with anyone what had happened, let alone blog about it to the world. But here I am sharing it with you in hopes that those of you who were duped like me won't think you're all alone in this. Looking for love can be fun and adventurous, but sometimes it just stinks!

I have been emailing back and forth with two guys who I like based upon the limited information that I know about them. Each email makes me like them a little more. It has me thinking about the many phases of online dating:

You receive the first email from a potential suitor, which prompts you to do the profile review. If that goes well, you continue and there is a 2nd and perhaps 3rd email. At this point, you expect to receive the email that takes it to the next level, i.e., would you like to meet, talk on the phone, or here's my chat name on yahoo, etc. Then there is the 1st phone call, and perhaps soon thereafter a 1st date, and even a 2nd. And then for me there is that ever elusive 3rd date.

That's a lot of phases. It's approximately 8 steps that takes you from a first email to a 3rd date.

Well, I have been looking back to see if there is a pattern with my online dating - taking note of those who make it to a first phone call and those who make it to a first date. Obviously it's not all up to me. A guy could drop me at any step, just as I could choose to end it with him. But what are some of the things that make you want to continue or to discontinue the many phases of online dating?

For me, one example is that I've noticed that I'm more likely to respond to men who smile in their profile photo. The bigger the smile, the more appealing they are to me (go figure).

I become less interested in guys who in their email exchange offers an average of one or two sentences, or those men whose emails fail to ask me anything about myself.

Once I get men on the phone, I'm discovering more about the guys on a different level. I love the conversations where I'm laughing or smiling or we're both sharing what we like about the world around us. On the opposite side, this seems kind of an obvious no-no, but it's amazing how many men talk about their problems during the first phone call or those men who want to have a long conversation about their previous dating (or love) experiences. Maybe I'm being too quick to judge, but isn't that what dating is about - judging (or deciding) if we want a relationship to continue? We add up the sum of our previous experiences with a person (a profile, and a couple of emails, and maybe a phone call or two) and decide if we want more of the same.

I now realize that every step is a glimpse of the next step. If I don't like where I'm currently at with a person, I need to explore whether there is anything that makes me think things would be any different in the future. If in your emails you only talk about yourself and never ask questions about me, why would I want more of the same? If you're really, really boring on the first date, or if you're rude to the waiter and short with me, what makes me think the next date would be any different? I'm not talking about going overboard and being really picky about everything that person says or does. One goofy comment about an ex, doesn't make me run for the hills, but if my overall experience during one of the steps isn't a good one, it just may be a good indicator of where the next step will take me.

It's 11:13 pm and I'm going through my online dating sites and am responding to 3 emails. In addition, I have 3 new emails to read (2 that don't include photos), and a couple of winks. I look at each one and have to make a decision if or how I should respond. I also wonder - will any of these guys still be a part of my life a month from now? or in a year? Too much thinking for this late hour, so I focus on the moment and consider how to proceed for this day -- as I have done for the last 350 days.

I have 15 days left. Yes, I'm at the point where I am counting down in days. You know something, in one day Theresa Kennedy's life changed when she went from being unemployed for 11 months to getting an amazing job. Phillip Brunelle's life was changed when he bought a million dollar lottery ticket. Anne Stoltz life changed when she received that call saying they had a kidney match. It's amazing what can happen in just one day.

In the movie "The Invention of Lying" no one ever lied. Not only couldn't they lie, but they actually said aloud everything they were thinking. I loved hearing Jennifer Garner tell her date exactly what she thought of him and their prospects together. It wasn't said with malice, she was just speaking her mind. So I was thinking, if we all applied this to our dating profiles, I wonder how different they would sound. My Match.com profile would read something like this:

About Me
I've been at this for quite a while, so I'm jaded and cynical. I'm ready to get married now (actually yesterday). My last boyfriend turned out to be marriage phobic, so I have issues. Although I won't rush you, I will dump you if it looks like you're dragging your feet. I've never been married, I don't have kids, and haven't had a roommate in almost 2 decades, so I'm not used to sharing my stuff, nor am I accountable to anyone. Oh and by the way, I don't look as good in person as I do in my photos, so keep your expectations low.

Who I'm looking For
Someone who can write a decent profile, post a normal photo and send a first email that isn't a form letter or chock-full of bad one-liners. These 3 things are my first impression of you, and if any of these areas are below average, I won't bother responding. I'm not looking for perfection, just hoping you don't write, say, or do something that completely turns me off.

I'm so glad that in life and with profiles, we're much more gentle with our words (and actions). We realize that just because we may think it, we don't have to share it. Say, that sentiment may even apply to posting comments!

Dear God,

Remember three years ago when I came to you with this great idea to put myself out there in a big way to find my husband? I felt so inspired by this idea that I believe it actually came from you, as though it floated down from heaven into my innocent little head. I even did all those confirmation steps to make sure I was on the right track with you. So here I am only a few weeks away from the end and I just want to make sure you haven't forgotten about me. I know you're busy now with world peace and starving children, but surely finding my husband makes your top 10. Perhaps you've been waiting until now to act because you really want to end things with a bang. It's obvious you're into last minute, huge finales like parting the Red Sea, closing the mouths of lions and there is that whole raising the dead thing you got going for you. So dropping a husband in my path weeks before the end of the countdown is right up your alley. Right???

I imagine you've been working on my little project all along and having a blast. We've had a lot of fun over the last 11 months. Yeah, those 30-something first dates were a barrel of laughs. And those 5 second dates to no where were absolutely hilarious. Thanks! But all delightful things must come to an end (please tell me they're ending). And it's on to more serious things ? like guys who actually like me AND I like them too. How awesome that would be.

And considering "awesome" is one of you're attributes, I have reason to be hopeful. So again, don't forget me. You're always telling us to remember, so I'm returning the favor like Moses did and reminding you of a few things. Remember how you have awesomely done so many great things for so many people over the last few millenniums? Remember that so many people are watching you now - to see whether a crazy, single woman who is looking for her husband is in store for another one of your awesome acts. Let the ending of these 52 weeks be one that brings hope, illuminates, and is exceedingly and abundantly above anything I could ask or think (which I admit is quite the challenge for you because you know how bold my requests and thoughts are). Thanks for being mindful of me.

With much gratitude,
Neenah