December 13 - To Tell the Truth (Dating Ad Realities)

In the movie "The Invention of Lying" no one ever lied. Not only couldn't they lie, but they actually said aloud everything they were thinking. I loved hearing Jennifer Garner tell her date exactly what she thought of him and their prospects together. It wasn't said with malice, she was just speaking her mind. So I was thinking, if we all applied this to our dating profiles, I wonder how different they would sound. My Match.com profile would read something like this:

About Me
I've been at this for quite a while, so I'm jaded and cynical. I'm ready to get married now (actually yesterday). My last boyfriend turned out to be marriage phobic, so I have issues. Although I won't rush you, I will dump you if it looks like you're dragging your feet. I've never been married, I don't have kids, and haven't had a roommate in almost 2 decades, so I'm not used to sharing my stuff, nor am I accountable to anyone. Oh and by the way, I don't look as good in person as I do in my photos, so keep your expectations low.

Who I'm looking For
Someone who can write a decent profile, post a normal photo and send a first email that isn't a form letter or chock-full of bad one-liners. These 3 things are my first impression of you, and if any of these areas are below average, I won't bother responding. I'm not looking for perfection, just hoping you don't write, say, or do something that completely turns me off.

I'm so glad that in life and with profiles, we're much more gentle with our words (and actions). We realize that just because we may think it, we don't have to share it. Say, that sentiment may even apply to posting comments!

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5 comments

Comment from: Lynne [Visitor]
Neenah, Time and time again, I admire your ability to speak the truth yet keep a sense of humor about it! You make me laugh - esp as I just finished reading some of the crazy profiles (and emails received) on POF! UGH! If nothing else, you've learned to make the best of the past 12 months and learn a lot along the way. I thank you for sharing the journey with us!!
12/13/09 @ 22:09
Comment from: Fatima [Visitor]
so true....so true. I have had almost the exact same experience and have tried my hand at giving a coy presentation of myself online and it's tough!!!! I think that this experience is the valley in preparation for the mountain top. I'm glad you were willing to spend a year exhausting yourself to find a husband. Now, more than last year at this time, you will be open to the Grace of God embodied in the Gift of a husband perfect for you. Mourn the loss of control, celebrate the opportunity to surrender....know that we're on this journey together!!!!

--Happily awaiting the news that you've given up this website, and removed yourself from dating ---only to have GOD place the man you've been longing for all along right in your path ---with love,

Fatima
12/19/09 @ 06:21
Comment from: Andrea de Michaelis [Visitor] Email · http://horizonsmagazine.com/blog
OMGosh thsi was excellent. It kinda reminded me of somethign I read online once: Realistic Personal Ad: SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency.I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation. I can't stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall Tucker Band's Greatest Hits. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes. I'm 32 but look 40 and feel 60.

You are a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. In time you will become coolly hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. Bonus points if you just finished doing every guy in town and but now want to take it slow with me. My perfect night would include getting hammered in a seedy bar while you flirt with old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match.

I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills. No friendships. I don't need any friends. Age unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 40.Serious replies only, please.
01/06/10 @ 09:20
Comment from: elizabeth [Visitor] Email
I love that you are able to "tell the truth" in terms of what you said about yourself and about the type of person you are seeking. Unfortunately, as an older woman - older than you - I find it increasingly difficult to "tell the truth" particularly about age. I am not looking for an OLD MAN....I happen to like men a little younger than me. (I am - as Wendy Williams says - a woman of a certain age!). I find that when I put my real age on a profile - I get men in their 60's+. So...I tell a "small" falsehood about my age. I usually shave off about 5 years. But...it seems - that if you aren't in your 30's...nothing!! I am going to try that honesty thing again and see where it lead me.
01/06/10 @ 13:30
Comment from: The mind [Visitor] · http://aboutmindpower.com/
Thanks a mill for that post. Do you get your content written or do your own writing? Thanks for sharing. What a great article. thanks !! very helpful post! Nice writing bub. Thanks a mill. Keep up the good work.
01/22/10 @ 00:10

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